thanks to every1 for their concern.n yes! i'm fine alr! haha... kinda sorted out my thoughts in the bathroom today. =)

i've realised (not for the 1st time) dat being so pessimistic or paranoid does me no good. in fact it just brings me closer to hell. since i'll go dere 1 day (cos i'm damn evil... rite azrul? hahaha), theres no pt in rushing the process. lol...

n besides, being so pissed with everything, only makes other ppl pissed with me... which is exactly what i DONT wan, isnt it? if dat rlly happens, then its kinda like everything goes back to square1.. n gotta start all over again? no way dude.

mayb it was just dat i pinned my hopes too high, & then when they're not met e disappointments r kinda hard to swallow. plus it feels like i'm letting ppl down... e ppl hu haf stood by me & expect much from me too. =p

so, in summary, i die-die by transform myself. yet again! yes. to b more happy. to learn to appreciate happiness. to look on the bright side of everything. & make ppl happy too. n of cos hopefully, i'll inch closer towards success, towards my goal, towards my aim, towards my happiness.

taadaa. here i go!

it's 2:17 AM now