任我放纵的小世界

still have no idea wad to do for tml. everybody seems to have programs for tml already. *BIG SIGH*

a little feverish. tink i'm falling sick. argh...

anibody who wans to do anything tml... pls ask me out at u-noe-wad-number!!! pls!!!

=((

it's 10:06 AM now

officially voted ugliest photo of me in 2005. but yeh i still love takraw =)

it's 8:56 AM now

Thursday, December 29, 2005

belated merry xmas to all... xmas was spent with friends... went for wanyie/grace/tsz shan's cell grp outreach function or sth... it wasnt too bad. the atmosphere was qt heartwarming, even tho i'm still a freethinker. n i must say dat some of the songs r rlly nice! then went over the cheryl's place for her xmas party... in the end me, debbie, janice, colin, weixiong ended up playing monopoly... haha qt fun. =)

aniwae i just finished [Full House] which i borrowed from wanyie... n i tink its a very very nice show. recommended! now i can understand y so many ppl r crazy over Rain after watching dis show... but too bad i'm not gay so yeh... altho i've learnt to like Song Hui Qiao v much! shes damn cute... hmm got had a lot of thoughts & feelings during & after e show...

abt e same old story as to y ppl will only treasure things they had only when they're on the verge of losing it... & in the end all they can do is just to cry over the spilled milk. y not learn to cherish whatever u have??

i rem weisheng writing abt a girl he miss. wad abt me?

i miss the girl who sent my heart racing whenever i saw her
i miss the girl whose first words was to ask my height
i miss the girl who die-die wanted a balloon
i miss the girl dat fell alseep in my car
i miss the girl dat liked to draw on my hand
i miss the girl dat liked to bite my hand

i miss the girl dat's so lovable in everything she does, even with her fiery temper
i miss the girl dat looks so adorable even when she sleeps
i miss the girl dat makes me eat my words
i miss the girl dat makes me wan to protect & shelter her

i miss the girl dat made me do all the silly things on my own will
i miss the girl dat made me wan to fulfill all her wishes
i miss the girl on the other end of the phone
i miss the girl dat has changed my life

i miss the girl dat stole my heart away

it's 5:49 AM now

Friday, December 23, 2005

got back my results today & cant say dat i'm happy with it. ok to b honest i'm kinda disappointed with my results lah. some were unexpected... but no excuses for not studying hard enough throughout the term. guess thats the outcome of being too slack!

so my cap score reads 3.34... yesh its some farni number... to break it down:
Critcial Thinking & Writing: A-
Physics: B
Maths: B-
Evolution of Global-City State: B-
Statics and Mechanics of Materials: C+

i got a freaking C+ for my stats!! n B- for my maths? wtf lah... & i tink i shud haf done bttr for my CTW. Sheesh... in short, just disappointed lah... must rlly work hard nxt sem alr... if not my cap score will forever remain so low... dats B-A-D!!

sigh.

what's the best way to tell someone u miss her?

it's 7:57 AM now

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

finally back to blog. oh well...

some ppl have been asking me to do things which i dun like... n those things r like totally within their own capabilities. so wth... n i carn rlly turn them away can i? so in the end just lan-lan have to take it. but yes... i'm pissed. so stop asking me to do all those stupid things! i dun owe u all anything!

i prefer to just sit back & relax n do nth. like dat day when i was just driving around aimlessly at night... so i just randomly went to a few places... tanjong rhu, sengkang, pasir ris... & even took a little walk at pasir ris beach to just enjoy the sea breeze. n boy was it refreshing... yep i'm just a carefree person who rlly cannot b bothered abt most things i guess...

i was in town with grace the day b4 & colin + mingfeng ystd... well. to hunt for xmas presents lor... haha. must say dat pretty glad dis yr they put more effort into organising events in town rather than just doing up the lightings. hmmm but yeh town is crowded like mad... n keep bumping into familiar ppl lah. like gloria! hahaha.

having a headache buying presents lah. i still have a few more to go & a few xmas cards to write... which will probably reach those ppl after xmas. but oh well... its e thot dat counts rite?? haha. =)

release of results tml... wish me luck. sigh.

Dear Santa, i swear i've been gd this yr... pls make my xmas wishes come true ya?

it's 11:59 PM now

Saturday, December 17, 2005

kou shi xin fei.

dats wad i feel now. its like sometimes u dun like a person, or sth some1 said, or sth dat some ppl r doing. but yet... u cannot do anithing to change it all. or rather u've got no rights to meddle with their affairs in the 1st place. still, u cannot help being so negative towards wad has happened n all dat shit.

so wad happens? just put on a fake smile, a fake attitude, a fake mask. look friendly, crack jokes as if nth is bothering u & just try to behave as normal as u can. but deep down inside... is dat really wad u're feeling?

i'm sure every1 has gone thru such a phase in life before. y cant we all just live in a world without masks? every1 can just be themselves... just blame it on our inabilities to control wad others do & how cruel reality is.

enjoyed myself at ktv with gloria & weixiong today... its been a while since i last saw gloria. must keep in touch. =)

it's 8:56 AM now

Thursday, December 15, 2005

trainings have been burning me out & my old time injury in my left calf is back to haunt me again. i have seriously no idea why it hurts, cos it feels neither like the bone nor the muscle. i need to see a doctor soon. aniwae i'm kinda sunburnt... but i'm enjoying the fitness i'm gaining from the trainings (even tho its qt torturous!).

n so ystd we had friendlies... against sheares for both handball & takraw. well... for handball i tink i still pretty much suck at it lah. sometimes rlly at a loss of wad to do, offensively & defensively. but oh well... wad to expect rite? just kinda disappointed in myself lah. as for takraw, played in 3 games, lost all 3. diaos... but i tot i did a fairly good job. hurhur. so oh well *pat on the back* just hang in there & practice more & get bttr.

been reading comics to kill time at home. hmmm... partially cos nobody jio me out *hint* & cos i wanna save $ too. hahaha. n so i've completed & once again. omg... somebody save me. ask me out to do some non-money-spending things. like gg to sentosa! haha. i wanna get a tan. at least a long-lasting one. Islander membership anyone? Regular visits to sentosa anyone? =)

today i watched or rather ... e show starring andy lau, charlene choi & yang cai ni... hmmm not a bad movie lah. but it rlly brings out e important essence of fate in our lives.

i'm a firm believer in fate. i believe that everything happens for a reason. everyone that comes/leaves ur life... it is all predistined. however i disagree that everything happens according to a script... the end results may be fixed, but the process leading towards these results vary according to wad we do, n wad efforts we put in. in other words, the paths we take may differ, but essentially we'll end up at the destinated end-pts. hmm... get wad i'm saying? =)

n dat explains y we have kinship, friendships, relationships, hatred etc in our lives. n it all e more explains dat when sth comes our way, we should not shun it... instead we should accept it with grace & make e best out of it. treasure whatever is given to u n keep a part of it with u in ur memories, so dat even when u eventually lose it, theres sth for u to look back on. be thankful for each n every single person that steps into ur life. be even more grateful to those whom u harnass a special bond with. close friends, special friends, best friends, girl/boyfriends, spouses, siblings, parents, relatives...

hmmm. in short, just treasure whatever comes into ur life. esp ppl who mean alot to you. =)

out.

it's 7:42 AM now

Monday, December 12, 2005

mixed feelings. dilemma. feeling lost. feeling down. lack of inspiration. all bcos...

I'VE FINISHED DA CHANG JIN.

omg. such a captivating show... dat makes me wan to storm home when i have e opportunity to watch it... n after a long 1+wk of watching n watching... its finally finised. 50cds, 70episodes, 50hrs worth of my time. but its all worth it! wad a superb show. i urge everyone to go watch it ya? seriously... =)

IHG training has started n today was e 2nd time i went for training n i'm alr injured. wth la. actually i was still able to walk n run after e training but when i came home my left ankle started to feel qt sore. now its still ok but it still hurts when i put it in an awkward angle. & my already bruised nose is under some pain from all e mistimed headers during takraw. make my nose more bruised only... wth... argh.

aniwae i'm amazed by how things can be turned around with just a simple word, a simple line or a simple statement. even tho i'm still v uncertain abt wad lies ahead, but i'd wan to go ahead n see wad i can make out of it. dats a promise. i dun wan to live in regrets. not anymore.

dis new skin... i like v much. cos its puppy! hahaha. for those who still dono (if so, i'm surprised u read my blog) i'm a super duper dog lover. yeps. n of cos me myself is a puppy. hurhur. so yep. i like dis skin alot. =) comment k?

it's 6:20 AM now

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

kinda depressed now. thinking abt things... all of a sudden. sheesh.

are my thots heard? are my feelings felt? so many things flooding my mind now.

let me noe. n i'll rest in peace. i hope.

it's 8:10 AM now

Monday, December 05, 2005

ok just back from mediacorp... e filming wasnt fun. yes quan yifeng is chio. e contestants look much better in real life. guo liang is fit. the other guys didnt like e make-up, i didnt mind. the costumes were erm... big. e fans were fanatic. oh well. wad e hell. just watch Chao Ji Zhu Chi Ren tml night...

aniwae on my way back... i was humming to myself n then i surprised myself when i started singing random songs... then i was suddenly singing this song dat i wrote. or rather the only song dat i wrote... =)

guess some ppl have heard the song b4. well its not my song. cos its my promise dat e 1st song i'll ever write is dedicated to some1. n yep it was written that way n dedicated to dat person. hmmm... i'm somewhat glad lah. dat i managed to keep my promise. i dun wan to b another guy hu makes empty promises. haha...

e song is now being played on my comp... erm n its 5 other "draft" recordings. omg! haha. thanks mingfeng & eugene for their priceless help. hmmm we've intended to use it to take part in a competition... is it still on? hahaha... even tho i noe its not e most impressive piece of work... but...

good songs r sung with the best voice, but the best song is written & sung from e heart.

it's 6:19 AM now

Saturday, December 03, 2005

i shall blog abt how unlucky i have been in the last week. unbelievably suay leh... rlly down on my luck. some1 pls help me turn my fortunes around ok? here r e things dat have happened:

1> the stupid taxi driver incident *refer to below*

2> on wed, i drove back to hall to pack my stuff. thereafter went out with my hall ppl to bedok blk 85 for supper... n i kana a stupid parking summon!! wah lau eh. n e thing is dat e ticket was issued at 3:01am (so late still check? nth bttr to do??) n we went back to the car at arnd 3:05-3:10am. wah lau!!! $50 leh!

3> me & merbra's failure at zouk ystd. HAI. i still cannot believe what happened man. dun remind me anymore k. still super duper upset over it. sighhhh....

4> today during bball, i kana elbowed in my face. yeps.. dis damn irritating idiot (yes, b4 e incident alr dun like him) dribble in... i move to defend him... n his elbow was qt high (or issit i short?) went straight into my nose. n e moment i knew i was hit pretty bad (pain wad)... "(*$@$)_@($)_@()$_!()_$(!)_#(!_" (read: hokkien vulgarities)... my nose started bleeding like mad n dat stupid moth*rfu*k*r still nv come n say sorry. idiot sia. so i was damn pissed n continued swearing n staring at him. bloody asshole. aniwae when i came back from the toilet nearby... he was g-o-n-e. hum ji? -points finger- n now my bro tells me my nose mayb bruised. THANKS HOR.

5> i'm typing this entry for the 2nd time. stupid blogspot dono y didnt publish my previous entry! argh!

hmmm tml is e cap ball competition... but b4 dat is the prac for our 2 perf nxt wk. speaking of which... ppl watch e Jue Due Zhu Chi Ren ok? tink we're gonna b on the show. hahaha damn lame.

IHG training starts on monday. hope i wun get injuries ba. but knowing myself... haha HIGHLY UNLIKELY. =)

k la. time to get back to Da Chang Jin. heehee.

it's 11:27 PM now

Thursday, December 01, 2005

today was fun, tiring n pretty much enjoyable. when i tot there wasnt gg to be any blk outing @ sentosa (cos no1 informed me)... colin msged me today n asked me to go. oh well, i didnt wan to b anti-social cos i gave yijia my word the other time... n with some persuassion from mel i made my way down to sentosa...

e turnout was great! 17 if i rem correctly... n hmmm... i tink it was qt fun la. beach volleyball (yes! engine is e champions!), frisbee, water captain's ball & just plain soaking in the sea. it was gr8 interaction with e blk ppl. i cannot rem when was e last time i actually participated in sth like dat at blk level. IBG? mayb...

i'm qt thankful dat there was this outing today... to take my mind off things ba? yeps. n thankfully the nxt few days will be qt packed too. heehee. thank goodness.

heres a little suggestion to everyone: when u're travelling on the road, take a second to look around u... try to spot places where u haf memories of. times u spent with people or just some memory dat u hold dear in ur heart. think abt it, freeze that moment of time, reframe it n then store it back into ur heart. it helps u to remember all those good times. n most importantly, for u to appreciate all that has/had happened.

tml... dinner & movie with sharon. (I WAN MY PRESENT!) thereafter chinablack with the guys. yipee... but b4 dat... gg for supper with my blk ppl. =)

Thank you.

it's 6:14 AM now